Star Wars

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[29014-50] - published by Lucas Arts. Average Reader Rating: 6.41

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2023-07-03
From: Paul   (
more)
Comments: Alright, let's talk about Andor. If I had a dollar everytime some aging, limp-dicked nerd referred to it as "Star Wars for grownups" I'd be a very rich man. It's okay if you like it, assholes, just don't pretend it's deep because it happens to be boring. And don't pat your prematurely ejaculating ass on the back so hard insinuating your own adulthood. You're still obsessed with Star Wars, aren't you? And guess what: Andor still has cutesy droids, it still has cartoonishly shallow villains. Congratulations for latching onto the Star Wars that's "more focused on humanity". No shit, because makeup and special effects are expensive. You know, like in the Mandalorian? Is it great? Not really, but at least it's entertaining. Star Wars doesn't have the gravitas to pull off "gritty".

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2012-08-24
From: BluBlaDe   (
more)
Comments: Probably better on the SNES/Genesis.

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2012-05-20
From: Rain   (
more)
Comments: This game had such potential to be a classic. we start off on the hovercraft riding round the desert and go into various areas/caves where it switches to platform mode and you complete tasks/ go through the level, then ride off to find more. Cool feature where you can switch between luke and Han (when you find him) I got stuck on the deathstar though trying to destroy some towers that shoot at you and had no idea what i was supposed to do. quite alet down on these more diffucult later levels. but good game for a bit of boredom killing

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2012-02-14
From: Ron   (
more)
Comments: Yeah, he always has that kiddie-rapist beard of his. Creepy fucker.

Rating: n/a

2012-02-14
From: BluBlaDe   (
more)
Comments: I certainly won't. George Lucas sucks anyway.

Rating: n/a

2012-02-13
From: Ron   (
more)
Comments: If you've never seen the movies at this point, don't. And most certainly you should not shell out your hard-earned money for George Lucas' latest shameless and cynical money grab, that of the rerelease of the piece of shit known as The Phantom Menace in 3D. Wow, I can see Jar Jar Binks minstrel show antics in 3D now? Thanks, George, you greedy little troll!

Rating: n/a

2011-12-20
From: BluBlaDe   (
more)
Comments: Better than the NES version but fucking overated and boring series overall. Never watched the movies and I'M good without it.

Rating: n/a

2011-04-25
From: Paul   (
more)
Comments: The most overrated movie franchise in history in mediocre game form. Sign me up...

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2007-06-16
From: Kris   (
more)
Comments: ok

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2006-09-27
From: George Lucas   (
more)
Comments: Fans I am back and the force is with me! I have always believed in continuing changes and alterations to Star Wars to update and improve it. Let me share with you a new idea which will be incorporated on upcoming DVD releases. First, consider how much time the average person spends of his life on the toilet, yet this is never shown in most films, certainly not as character development. Well I propose to be a pioneer of realism, and will add an explicit scene to Star Wars to demonstrate the "dark side" of Darth Vader. You see, friends, I envision Vader filling a full toilet bowl with large bowel movements and clumps of toilet paper, to the point of stopping it up and causing it to overflow. Surely it is a universal human experience to have once walked into a public toilet which has been stopped up and desecrated in this fashion by some evil villain. Well, this scene puts a face on this archetypal villain for the audience: DARTH VADER!

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: Did your men deactivate the hyperdrive under the infalken?

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: Did your men deactivate the hyperdrive under the infalken?

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: You are beaten. It is useless to resist.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: Where are those transmissions you intercepted?

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: You are part of the rebel alliance and a traitor.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: You skills are complete.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
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Comments: Don't fail me, again!

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
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Comments: What is thy bidding, my Master?

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
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Comments: The force is with him.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
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Comments: Indeed, you are powerful.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
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Comments: The emperor is not as forgiving as I am.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
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Comments: I must obey my master.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
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Comments: I have you now.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: Perhaps you think you're being treated unfairly.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: Apology accepted!

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: The force is with you, young Skywalker. But you are not a jedi, yet.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: Impressive.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: Join me, and together, we can rule the galaxy as father and son.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: That is correct.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: Don't make me destroy you.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: Don't be too proud of this technological terror you constructed.

Rating: n/a

2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: I find your lack of disturbing

Rating: n/a

2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: He's all yours, bounty hunter.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: Don't underestimate the force!

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: Yes, my Master?

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: You are free to use any meccessary, but I want them a lossy. no disentegrations.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: It is pointless to resist, my son.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
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Comments: You don't know the power of the darkside.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
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Comments: The ability to destroy a planet is insignifecant next to the power of the force.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
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Comments: Obi-Wan is here.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: There will be a substencial reward for the one who finds the millennium falcon.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
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Comments: He will join us or die, Master.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
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Comments: If you only knew the power of the darkside.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
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Comments: He's as clumsy as he is stupid.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
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Comments: Obi-Wan.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
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Comments: You may dispense with the pleasanties, commander.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
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Comments: You should not have come back.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: Give yourself to the darkside.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: I've been waiting for you, Obi-Wan.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: Captain Meeda.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: I'm here to put you back on schedule.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: I am altering the deal, the way I'm altering any further.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: You underestimate the power of the darkside.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: I've been waiting for you.

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2006-08-04
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: Commander.

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2006-08-01
From: LEEROY   (
more)
Comments: RUBBISH RUBBISH RUBBISH RUBBISH RUBBISH,ANY 1 WHO LIKES THE GAME OR SHOW TO THIS IS EITHER A VIRGIN OR A FRENCH FRY FAGGOT END OF!!!

Rating: n/a

2006-07-14
From: Padme   (
more)
Comments: NO! Your dick is waaaayyy too small. Sorry fag.

Rating: n/a

2006-07-14
From: Anakin Skywalke   (
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Comments: Padme... Will you be with me?

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2006-05-16
From: Darth Vader   (
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Comments: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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2006-04-18
From: kaneda   (
more)
Comments: did you know that your more likely to drown in your bath tub than to be killed by terrorists? (average amount of ppl killed each year by terrorists: 2)

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2006-03-26
From: Lucas is an ass   (
more)
Comments: George Lucas sucks the ass drippings of terrorists. Stupid gay assed tit wad.

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2006-03-26
From: Lucas is an ass   (
more)
Comments: George Lucas sucks the ass drippings of terrorists. Stupid gay assed tit wad.

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2005-05-13
From: Pope Benedict X   (
more)
Comments: George Lucas advises me that he is revising all of the references in his films to "the Emperor" to "the Pope". I believe this is as it should be, to convert all his characters from their apostasy to the true Catholic faith. Therefore all papal pronouncements in his films will be honored by myself and the prefect of the Congregation of the Doctrine of "the Force".

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2005-05-13
From: George Lucas   (
more)
Comments: Another quick post! In answer to your queries, yes, there will be explicit defecation scenes in episode III. I don't want to give away too much, but remember my earlier teaser about the revelation of Amidala as Chewbacca's father. All this and more will be incorporated into the new version of the video game ASAP! May the force be with you!

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2005-05-13
From: George Lucas   (
more)
Comments: It has just come to my attention that clones, pretending to be me, have been posting comments on this site. Fortunately, I agree with most of their comments, except cynical comments about my beard and weak chin! These are really low blows! I have a team of hairstylists on call 24/7 to make sure my paste-on beard artfully disguises my lack of a chin and that a new, *fresh* toupe is properly fitted every day. I pay these individuals large amounts of money, so attacks on my *personal* hairstyle are not well received.

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2005-05-13
From: George Lucas   (
more)
Comments: I'm glad to see a lot of excitement and enthusiasm for this new Star Wars game on this web site! As the final installment of this saga is about to be released, I thought I would provide some teasers, to appease the clamoring of you devoted fans! First, expect Jar Jar Binks to take on a major, major role which you may not have anticipated! I am aware that some regard Jar Jar as an intergalactic "Step'n Fetchit". Well I've decided to give him a considerably enlarged role, to be balanced by an intergalactic "Kingfish" type, based on the old Amos and Andy program. This Kingfish character will be played by me. Also, many may recall that Queen Amidala's accent was probably the worst fake British accent of all time. This was actually clever acting by Ms. Portman who anticipated the exposure of this character as a total fraud. Expect something like the revelation scene between Luke and Vader, except with Amidala (and Chewbacca's grandfather perhaps?), although I won't spoil it for all of you devotees who've waiting in line for a weeks to see it! May the force be with you all!

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2005-05-13
From: George Lucas   (
more)
Comments: I'm glad to see a lot of excitement and enthusiasm for this new Star Wars game on this web site! As the final installment of this saga is about to be released, I thought I would provide some teasers, to appease the clamoring of you devoted fans! First, expect Jar Jar Binks to take on a major, major role which you may not have anticipated! I am aware that some regard Jar Jar as an intergalactic "Step'n Fetchit". Well I've decided to give him a considerably enlarged role, to be balanced by an intergalactic "Kingfish" type, based on the old Amos and Andy program. This Kingfish character will be played by me. Also, many may recall that Queen Amidala's accent was probably the worst fake British accent of all time. This was actually clever acting by Ms. Portman who anticipated the exposure of this character as a total fraud. Expect something like the revelation scene between Luke and Vader, except with Amidala (and Chewbacca's grandfather perhaps?), although I won't spoil it for all of you devotees who've waiting in line for a weeks to see it! May the force be with you all!

Rating:

2005-05-13
From: George Lucas   (
more)
Comments: I'm glad to see a lot of excitement and enthusiasm for this new Star Wars game on this web site! As the final installment of this saga is about to be released, I thought I would provide some teasers, to appease the clamoring of you devoted fans! First, expect Jar Jar Binks to take on a major, major role which you may not have anticipated! I am aware that some regard Jar Jar as an intergalactic "Step'n Fetchit". Well I've decided to give him a considerably enlarged role, to be balanced by an intergalactic "Kingfish" type, based on the old Amos and Andy program. This Kingfish character will be played by me. Also, many may recall that Queen Amidala's accent was probably the worst fake British accent of all time. This was actually clever acting by Ms. Portman who anticipated the exposure of this character as a total fraud. Expect something like the revelation scene between Luke and Vader, except with Amidala (and Chewbacca's grandfather perhaps?), although I won't spoil it for all of you devotees who've waiting in line for a weeks to see it! May the force be with you all!

Rating:

2005-05-13
From: Michael Jackson   (
more)
Comments: This game is so wonderful and fun! It reminds me of the purity and naivity of young, innocent, naked little boys sharing my bed. Sharing your bed is the most wonderful thing you can do! I do not have sex with these little boys unless they agree or are very soundly asleep.

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2005-04-13
From: patrick brunton   (
more)
Comments: i love star wars but this game is fucking shit

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2004-11-02
From: ????   (
more)
Comments: Daer Adama eat shit BITCH!!

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2004-10-18
From: village idiot   (
more)
Comments: Master Yoda for President

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2004-10-01
From: ironmonking   (
more)
Comments: I Love starwars to death.I haven't played the game but screw it Starwars forever. I only wish that they could legally make "Jedi" a religion. I'd be the first in line.

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2004-06-24
From: kickassvader   (
more)
Comments: this game is great i love it and i love the whole star wars universe any one who disagrees with me can suck a donkeys ass star wars rocks.

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2004-02-20
From:
Dennis  (more)
Comments: hola y quiero jugar

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2003-11-16
From:
MARCUS  (more)
Comments: tHIS gREAT gAME

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2003-10-02
From: sam   (
more)
Comments: wankers

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2003-06-23
From:
Peder Johnsen  (more)
Comments: I dont like this game.... most because of the music.... its totally wrong... but most of the game is good so...

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2003-06-06
From: George Lucas   (
more)
Comments: This site has really gone downhill fast in recent months. I remember a time when my fans and fans of this wonderful, ground-breaking game could come here and post their comments and feelings in a friendly environment free from the bullies that torment their every waking hour. But now? This site has become a haven for those that attack eachother and attack me, the great George Lucas. That would be bad enough, but to attack the Star Wars saga itself? That is the basest sacrilege that I could ever think of. The nerds, dorks, dweebs, and perpetual virgins of the world have made me what I am today and it saddens me to see this once great refuge of theirs destroyed by hateful people. Also, I used to pick up a lot of young boys from this site. Believe you me, I showed them a hell of time here at Skywalker Ranch once they provided me with an e-mail address. All they had to do was take off on their parents, get a ride to the airport and their ticket was there at the counter waiting for them. It's a lot harder scaring up tail now that this site has been debauched. Oh well, I guess I better get back to work. Right now I'm reading the Dune series to see if there is anything else I can rip off from the late Frank Herbert. There's got to be more where Tatooine came from! Am I right? Remember, my kindly nerd followers, the George Lucas lifestyle does not come cheap. You must go and buy all of the Star Wars movies on DVD and any other merchandise you can lay your pale, disposable income laden hands on. MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!

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2003-06-01
From: George Lucas   (
more)
Comments: I must confess that I, the great George Lucas, am the original imposter that has plagued this wonderful tract of pristine nerd habitat. In fact, it's the first original thing that I have ever done. My whole career is based on ripping off other people and making up stupid sounding, nonsensical names for things. If you think about it, though, all I really did was take someone else's name and write stuff to make them seem like some awful person or jabbering idiot. I just I haven't really changed at all. Once a thief, always a thief. I NOW COMMAND YOU GULLIBLE NERDS TO GO AND BUY "ATTACK OF THE CLONES" AND "PHANTOM MENACE" ON DVD. GO NOW! I AM USING THE FORCE ON YOU! YOU CANNOT RESIST MY AWESOME POWER! GO NERDS, GO! YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED! Damn! There I go again, stealing other people's shit! I am truly a monster. I must go now and roll around on a huge pile of money and pull myself off! One more thing, if you horrid nerds ever hear that I am under investigation for child pornography, just remember that I'm doing research for a book. They call me the seeker.

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2003-05-10
From: George Lucas   (
more)
Comments: I'm sick of people insulting me and posting messages in my name. Please, show some class. Also, I'm gay and love the feel of a young boy's body against my naked flesh.

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2003-05-08
From: George Lucas   (
more)
Comments: Guess what. I'm still a thieving piece of shit.

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2003-05-05
From: Winona Ryder   (
more)
Comments: I like George Lucas. We both like to steal shit. While I steal clothing, George likes to steal the ideas and intellectual properties of more talented and creative people. To each his (or her) own. Good game, by the way. I stole it.

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2003-05-05
From: The Clones   (
more)
Comments: We would like to apologize for how poorly rendered we were in our movie. I'm sorry, we just didn't appear or move in a realistic manner. Perhaps our dark master, George Lucas, cut costs so he could pay for his increasingly expensive cocaine addiction. He also frequents high-priced male prostitutes to satisfy his disgusting, animalistic urges. No matter, you fools would buy a box full of shit if it had a Star Wars logo on it. Fuck you!

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2003-05-05
From: George Lucas   (
more)
Comments: No, it's true, I am a worthless piece of shit. I also molest children. Great game, though. Please keep buying all the inane garbage I ceaselessly churn out for you gullible morons. The dumber you are, the richer I get.

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2003-05-05
From: ?   (
more)
Comments: If I ever find the assholes who said those things about star wars am going to kill them

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2003-05-03
From: Hand Solo   (
more)
Comments: I want to masturbate with a woman watching me. I want to watch her as she masturbates. I love women who love themselves.

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2003-04-26
From: Gold Cylon   (
more)
Comments: As an evil robot I have no penis to suck. However, I share the sentiments of the Colonials above because the great Imperious Leader has so instructed. Lucas Arts? Give me a fucking break. What a pretentious ass. Up yours Lucas! Oh yeah, nice beard you pasty fuck!

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2003-04-26
From: Starbuck   (
more)
Comments: George Lucas is a piece of shit rip-off artist. Nice job with Phantom Menace you fuck!

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2003-04-26
From: Apollo   (
more)
Comments: You're right! Lick my balls George Lucas!

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2003-04-26
From: Adama   (
more)
Comments: Forget the game, the whole Star Wars universe is shit. Fuck you nerds!

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2003-04-23
From: Jacko   (
more)
Comments: Very impressive graphics! i was very pleased with this game, the graphics are nice and clear, game play is good, defintly worth owning

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2003-02-25
From: JJ   (
more)
Comments: Luke, I am your overused plot device !

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2002-10-14
From: Tom   (
more)
Comments: King,use the force and a half, swish

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2002-07-10
From: Mike Hayes   (
more)
Comments: I brought a NES for this game which does not say much for the SMS version! Sorry!

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2002-07-02
From:
Anthony Burns  (more)
Comments: Smooth animation, speed, variety of gameplay, detailed graphics, decent sound, and beautiful cul-scenes. What, I wonder, was the excuse used by the programming team of Strider? No matter. This is as good a substitute as any Master System owner could hope for, although I must say that the level lined almost entirely with spikes has frequently put me off the idea of playing it at all. And I don\'t think shooting at Jawas is very fair, as if the poor little sods didn\'t have enough problems. Otherwise, it\'s a classic.

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2002-05-21
From:
Ro  (more)
Comments: Go and see Attack of the Clones in theaters. I\'ve tried out Rogue Squadron II on the Nintendo GameCube. Its prequel made it on the N64 and the PC. I love Luke Skywalker.

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2002-05-14
From:
bnjvhvjvjr  (more)
Comments: fsffxfd

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2002-05-10
From: jimmy   (
more)
Comments: JIMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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2002-04-11
From: Dende   (
more)
Comments: this game rocks compare it with the nes version. and to you guys saying the nes was harder. thats true because it only had one mode (Jedi) the SMS one you could put on Jedi or normal.

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2001-07-21
From: Colin   (
more)
Comments: some people actually like this game it's hard to believe considering how bad it really is. I like star wars but i hate all of the computer games that they have made for many computer systems.

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2001-06-27
From: Matty   (
more)
Comments: The best game on the system of the bestfilm made. You could put put this on any system and it would rule

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2001-06-12
From: Bad Ass Supasta   (
more)
Comments: This game is the best and i have to big up respect Chris Wopat for making this site. He is the man!!! Booooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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2001-06-10
From:
Mick_aka  (more)
Comments: Sweet game, but boaring and too easy compared to the NES version!

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2001-05-24
From: Firestorm   (
more)
Comments: Love it! But you can't fight Darth Vader. Too easy, but damn good fun.

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2001-05-07
From: Ro   (
more)
Comments: Just got Shadows of The Empire for my Nintendo 64. The gameplay kicks ass! I love the movies esp. the first one when Han Solo steps on the tail of Jabba The Hutt(a.k.a. "Jabba The Butt")

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2001-03-01
From: Darth Vader   (
more)
Comments: Luke! I Am Your Father!

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2001-03-01
From: Jar Jar Binks   (
more)
Comments: Mesa tinken dissen game okayen

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All content © Chris Wopat 1997-2024. I probably should thank Sega here too. Thanks!