9 reviews by Perry..
TV Colosso

2012-02-21
From: Perry
Comments: Look, I'm no saint, maybe I made some questionable, even bad, choices in my life and during my marriage, but when you are married you've got to try new things, you've got to add spice to your love life now and again. Was introducing my wife to dogsex a mistake? In retrospect, yes, it was, but I can hardly be blame for your perceived decay of society and, I guess, conventional sexual mores. She had a friend from work that I suggested we invite to include in our lovemaking, but my wife declined so, as an alternative, I suggested she let Barney have sex with her. Eventually she did. Should I have dropped the matter after she demurred the first few times I brought it up? Again, in hindsight, I probably should have, but I don't regret for a moment trying to fight for the health of my marriage and trying to reignite the sparks of passion that once flowed between my wife and I. It didn't work out, I accept that, and I accept my responsibility for it not working out, but I resent your criticisms of my conduct as being some harbinger of future doom, especially when it is pretty clear that you're a pervert, yourself.

Rating: n/a


Bram Stokers Dracula

2011-12-05
From: Perry
Comments: It has to be better than Keanu Reeves' acting, am I right? I mention this because I caught the shitty movie by the same name on TV. Worst part is on TV you don't even get to see tits, which was the only thing that movie ever had going for it.

Rating: n/a


Rambo: First Blood Part II

2011-11-25
From: Perry
Comments: My mother was an Army nurse stationed in Plieku during the Vietnam War. One night the hospital was attacked by the VC or NVA with 122mm rockets. Well, one of the rockets landed pretty close to my mom's quarters. Mom and her friend Marilyn, another nurse there, were the first to arrive at the crater made by the rocket, which had been where a few (thankfully unoccupied) tents had sat just moments before. There, caught in the beam of my mother's flashlight, she spied an unusual object that had seemingly been uncovered by the explosion of the rocket. It was, according to Mom's description, a beautiful and ornate jade dildo, apparently intact and otherwise unharmed in any way. Marilyn saw it, too, and quickly picked it up, thinking that she and my mother had discovered something of real significance. After the commotion had all died down, they went back to their shared quarters and inspected the dildo. Sure enough, it was in immaculate condition as far as they could tell. They cleaned it up as best they could and placed it in an old shoe box that Marilyn kept under her cot. Unbeknownst to my mother at the time, Marilyn woke up in the middle of the night, about 2:00 AM by her watch, and was struck by an odd and inescapable urge to use the dildo. As she related to my mother the next morning, Marilyn took the dildo from the shoe box and began masturbating with it as my mom lay sleeping a few feet away. Almost immediately, Marilyn was overcome by what she described as the most powerful orgasm of her life, an orgasm that left her paralyzed for several hours afterward. She was terrified by this, not knowing what had happened to her or what was wrong, but eventually she was able to mover again and quickly removed the dildo and placed it back in the box. Checking her watch again, it was now almost 5:00 AM. Unable to sleep after the episode, she sat there waiting for my mother to wake up. She soon did, and Marilyn related what had happened to her. She was embarrassed, Mom said, but she felt that she just had to tell somebody what happened. My mom believed her and was, herself, curious about what had happened, but such things had to wait because they soon had to be on duty. That night, after their shifts, they returned to their quarters and my mother asked Marilyn to give her the dildo to see if the same thing happened to her. Marilyn obliged, taking it from the box once more and handing it to my mother. Mom then undressed and got under the covers of her cot and, with Marilyn watching nervously, inserted the dildo and began masturbating. Just as had happened to Marilyn, my mother climaxed almost immediately, with wave after wave of the indescribable orgasm washing over her. She, too, found that she was paralyzed afterward. She remained there on her cot, motionless for two hours or so, while Marilyn tried to get some sort of response out of my mother. Mom watched the whole time, her eyes the only part of her body she seemed able to control. Then, at about midnight, she regained control of her body and removed the dildo from inside of her and laid it on her cot. They both just stared at it for a while, not understanding what was happening, but knowing full well that this object was more than it appeared to be. They agreed then and there to get rid of it, whatever it was, so they buried in a pit they dug in the dirt under the floor of their quarters. Sooner or later, however, one of them would be compelled by some force to did it up again and use it. They didn't know if the dildo had some manner of intrinsic power over them or if they just became addicted in some sense to the unbelievably powerful orgasms that it created. Regardless, after they had both succumbed to its power several times more, they decided to really get rid of the thing. They took it to a little curio shop in downtown Pleiku that they had visited several times. They had become quite friendly with the Mama-san that ran the store, and they told her that they had found an strange object and wondered if she was interested in taking it off their hands. Intrigued, the Mama-san said "yes", but when my mother took it out of her bag and started to hand it to her, the Mama-san screamed and cursed at them to leave the store. Unnerved by the look of fright in the woman's eyes, they ran into the alley behind a Caltex gas station and, after wrapping it in some old newspapers they found, left it there for anyone, anyone but them, to find. Haunted by these events, Marilyn and my mother soon sought comfort in one another's arms and, though beginning innocently enough, this soon blossomed into a torrid sexual relationship between the two women. It was, in fact, the first lesbian relationship of my mother's life. Not so, Marilyn, however. She had from her earlier sexual awakenings been a lesbian, and would so remain to this day. Unfortunately for my mother, Marilyn had contracted gonorrhea as a result of an on-again off-again affair with a beautiful Vietnamese bar girl there in Pleiku and had soon passed the disease on to my mother. Understandably upset by this, my mother ended their relationship immediately and, though they tried to remain friends, they drifted apart, especially after Mom traded quarters with another of Marilyn's friends at the hospital. All of this...caused, ultimately, by that beautiful jade dildo. The mystery of its powers remain long after the relationships it destroyed have vanished forever into the mists of time.

Rating: n/a


Hook

2011-11-24
From: Perry
Comments: Me and my buddy used to draw pubic hair on his sister's Barbies. She actually seemed to like the idea, having just come into pubic hair of her own at the time, but one time she showed Barbie's new bush to her mom and, well, mom was pissed. We both got yelled at pretty good and were referred to as perverts more than once, but she got over it soon enough. We did it in pencil, after all.

Rating: n/a


Great Golf

2011-11-24
From: Perry
Comments: I've taken quite a shine to Paula Creamer, myself. This despite the fact that she does not respond to fan mail, at least not that which contains photos of erect penises and a copy of a Golf Digest article featuring her that I ejaculated on. Go figure.

Rating: n/a


TV Colosso

2011-11-24
From: Perry
Comments: I talked my first wife into having sex with our golden lab, Barney. She was reluctant at first, to say the least, but within two months she had left me and taken Barney with her. According to the Christmas card I received from her last year, they're still together.

Rating: n/a


Trivial Pursuit

2011-11-24
From: Perry
Comments: My second wife and I used to play our own version of Trivial Pursuit wherein each time a person earned a wedge, the other person would have to perform a certain act. In my case, every time she got a wedge, I'd have to chow her box until she reached orgasm. She could have asked for anything, but that was what she always wanted me to do. In her case, every time I earned a wedge, I got to pick out an object for her to insert into her vagina. To be sure, she had a limited veto power over the objects with regard to size and shape, but she was always a real gamer when it came to shoving things up her snatch. Funny how both of us picked something to do her pussy as a reward of sorts. We both did love her pussy, though.

Rating: n/a


Enduro Racer

2011-11-24
From: Perry
Comments: I had a dirt bike growing up. It was fun, too, until I broke both my wrists in a crash when I was sixteen. It is hard for a teenage boy to function properly for months without being able to move his wrists, if you catch my meaning. Luckily for me, my mom decided that, for the benefit of my recovery, she would bear the load, so to speak, and give me handjobs a couple times a week so as to unburden me. It was an uncomfortable situation for the both of us, frankly, but I really did appreciate her helping me this way. Incidentally, she would catch my semen in her left hand and then go to the bathroom and wash it off.

Rating: n/a


Incredible Hulk

2011-07-11
From: Perry
Comments: I think my penis has stopped growing.

Rating: n/a